Alaska Law Blog

It seems every media outlet and blogger is trotting out a top ten list for 2008. The “Top Ten News Stories of 2008.” The "Top Ten Celebrity Meltdowns of 2008.” Even the "Top Ten Douchebags of 2008."

The Alaska Law Blog has to get in on this action. (No, not the douchebag action, the top ten action.) But there is no way I have the time to put together a list with ten things on it. So I’ve pared it back to just five entries. Hey, you get what you pay for. In this case, you only paid for a half-assed top ten list and that is exactly what you’re getting.

So, here are the top five law-related items of riveting interest for 2008:

No. 5: A contributor to the Alaska Law Blog provides weekly updates on Alaska Supreme Court decisions. Except that it turns out the weekly updates actually come out maybe once or twice a year. (You didn’t think I was going to make a top five list and leave us off of it, did you?)

No. 4: Administrative Law Judge Roy Pearson sues his local dry cleaner for $67 million because they lost a pair of his pants. Alas, Judge Pearson did not prevail on his claim that the sign “Satisfaction Guaranteed” meant the dry cleaner had to pay him whatever he asked for the lost pants. The court said “Satisfaction Guaranteed” established a reasonable man standard, not a subjective standard. (Where have we read that before?)

This news item could be more appropriately titled: “The Judge Is An Ass, Or Does This Lawsuit Make My Butt Look Big?” There was a lot of testimony at trial about Judge Pearson’s pants having three elastic waistband inserts sewn into them.

No. 3: Know your Learned Foote from your Learned Hand. This WSJ Blog story from earlier this month just warmed the cockles of my wizened heart. Some years back a guy named Fred Foote went to Harvard Law School. In Torts class one day they discussed a decision by New York Judge Learned Hand. Fred was so impressed that right then and there he decided to name his first born son “Learned” after the judge. Many years later, despite having plenty of time to sober up, Fred followed through on this vow. Fred’s son, Learned Foote, is now an undergraduate student at Columbia University, but young Learned is being coy about whether he’ll go on to law school.

No. 2: The U.S. Supreme Court does not appoint the next President. In some countries, the elections are rigged and the results are pre-ordained. Soviet satellites, banana republics, and African dictatorships all have had the benefit of free and open elections, as long as the vote of the people did not really count. We should be grateful that the U.S. is not one of those countries, . . . or at least it has not been one since the last change of power in Washington.

We can only hope that the Court has learned from past mistakes. This year the Court actually had the chance to take a case seeking to overturn Barack Obama's election. The lawsuit alleged Obama wasn't a natural-born citizen because his father was a Kenyan, which only made him half-American. In contrast, the paintiff who brought the case was a full natural-born American, yet still seemingly a half-wit. The Court declined to accept the case.

No. 1: Mrs. Palin went to Washington. Whether you think Governor Sarah Palin is the second coming of Ronald Reagan or Dan Quayle, you gotta admit she’s good for lawyers. We had a late summer blitzkrieg of lawsuits and administrative proceedings over Troopergate. These more or less boiled to do how much Sarah was pulling the strings to control her husband Todd. Two respected members of the Anchorage bar reached exactly opposite conclusions on the matter. All of this was fine. Except then they screwed up by not hiring a third lawyer to break the deadlock, which it seems to me is what you want to have happen when full employment for lawyers is the goal.

As it was, they left the whole thing as a tie. This gave the affair the flavor of a stylized Kabuki theater production. All fancy dress, prancing around, and a screeching soundtrack, with the actual plot a secondary consideration.

But thank goodness the legal frenzy the Governor touched off is going to carry over into 2009. The Governor is still being investigated for the travel perks she secured for her daughters, and some of the supporting cast of the Troopergate/Election saga are striking out on their own. Yes, despite the economic crisis in the Lower 48, the new year is not looking too shabby. (From a law blogging standpoint, that is.)

I saw my first ghost bike in Anchorage this morning. It was a somber shock for a Friday morning commute.

The ghost was leaning against a sign, in the median strip of C Street, at the intersection with 40th. It was a true apparition. The headlights from the passing traffic swept across it in the morning dark. The stark white bicycle gleamed back at the motorists, standing as a silent witness to the transgression of one of them.

I’m not sure how many folks in Anchorage know what a ghost bike is. A ghost bike appears at the location where a bicyclist has been killed or seriously injured. According to ghostbikes.org, ghost bikes first began to be seen in St. Louis in 2003. They are memorials to a life that has been lost or damaged, and they are protests against the sometimes terrible dominance of the internal combustion engine. Their numbers have been increasing across the country and now the world. But I’ve never seen one in Alaska. That is, not until today.

This particular ghost has appeared for a young man who is no longer riding his bicycle among us. On the morning of October 20, 2008, 19-year-old Jonathan Johnson was riding across C Street at 40th when an SUV struck him. He was seriously injured in the accident and died from his injuries a few days later.

I did not know Jonathan Johnson. But during my drive to work on October 20, I saw the accident scene. The police and paramedics were still in the intersection when I drove by that day. The flashing lights of the emergency vehicles raked through the dark. Traffic was completely stopped in the southbound lane of C Street; it was crawling in the northbound lane.

I did not know Jonathan Johnson. So I cannot tell you what the aftermath of his accident and death will be. There may be legal issues to sort out, such as liability questions, insurance issues, etc. I'm not sure. The Anchorage Daily News reported that the police did not cite the driver of the SUV in the accident.

I did not know Jonathan Johnson. But I ride the same bike routes he did. When I can squeeze a bike commute in, I ride the bike trail along C Street to my office downtown, summer and winter alike. For all I know, I could have passed Jonathan Johnson going the other way on the bike trail one day as I was making my way to work. I have a connection to Jonathan Johnson because I know that what happened to him could also happen to any other bike commuter, myself included.

I did not know Jonathan Johnson. But I know what it is like to ride bikes in Anchorage. There was a recent article in the paper about Anchorage being called a “bike friendly” city. The author of the article did not agree with that characterization, saying Anchorage was a "city with no shortage of dangerous places to ride." I also think that calling Anchorage a “bike friendly” city is a dubious description, although I can say that it is a whole lot friendlier to bikes than it used to be.

I did not know Jonathan Johnson. But I drive the streets of Anchorage the same as the young woman who ran her SUV into him. I know the challenge of coming upon a bicyclist in the dark when you are not keeping an eye out for one. After Jonathan’s accident, the Bicycle Commuters of Anchorage posted a notice on their website reminding cyclists to use lights and reflectors for winter rides.

I did not know Jonathan Johnson. But I feel sympathy for his family. A life cut short at 19 years of age is a thing impossible to ever fully accept.

I did not know Jonathan Johnson. But I am a fellow citizen and cyclist of Anchorage. I can feel his passing, and I am sad there is one less cyclist in my city.

I did not know Jonathan Johnson. But I know the ghost that stands for him now.